They said it....or did they?

Just in case you're wondering, "what the heck is that?"...it's not a clam, or gum stuck to the side walk. It's an ear. I was brushing up on my anatomy and started sketching an ear. It got me thinking what a wonderful piece of engineering it is. Feeling very philosophical and being a history geek, I started to ponder the importance of the ear in history.

Quotes! Yes, wonderful utterings made at momentous occasions of grand historical stature! It seems like there's always someone around to hear them, and record them. Geeks love quotes like, "to err is human...". Well, an ear is human and can certainly "err". Far more interesting than what was actually said, is what we think was said, or could have been said or what is just plain old BS. Here's some classic quotes debunked. Enjoy!

"The British are coming, the British are coming"
The classic quote by Paul Revere as he warned the Massachusetts countryside about the approaching British army. Too bad the only time Revere uttered those words was in the Longfellow poem (actually, not even there) . Think about it. The Revolutionary War hadn't even started yet, and American independence from Great Britain was neither declared nor won at that point. Far from it. Paul Revere and the Minute Men he called upon that night were still British themselves. He would have referred to the British army as the "Regulars" or something of that nature. In fact, he didn't really ride through towns yelling at the top of his lungs either. But, that's another story. More information about that period is found here.

"Nice guys finish last."
A classic from that crotchety Brooklyn Dodgers manager, Leo Durocher. Yeah,.....but no. The real quote: "The nice guys are all over there, in seventh place." That quote, aimed at the rival Giants, is quite a bit different and a lot less nasty that what was eventually credited to him. Never the less, the misquote followed Durocher around and ended up as the title on his autobiography.

"Anything that can go wrong, will." (Murphy's Law)
OK, I have to admit that I had no idea that Murphy was a real guy. I just thought it was some ephemeral drunken Irishman who stammered the famous line after 14 pints of Guiness and everyone yelled, Brilliant! Nope. Edward Murphy was an US Air Force engineer and what he said was, "If there's more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then somebody will do it that way." Much more funny in my opinion. Genius in fact. Check here for more of the story.

"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."
No, I'm not going to tell you that Neil Armstrong's famous moon walk was filmed on a Hollywood Set. Armstrong did flubb the line though. His actual words were: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Huh? Isn't that the same quote? Almost. He forgot the article "a" before the word "man". Without that single letter word, the sentence doesn't quite make sense. In the famous audio clip, you can almost hear him pause before the second part of the line as if he's thinking, "Oh, sh#t, can we do a re-take?".

"I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and filled him with terrible resolve."
This one broke my heart. I've always loved the incredible insight Admiral Yamamoto shows in that poignant scene in "Tora, Tora, Tora". The Japs have just scored a big victory in the bombing of Pearl Harbor, and yet in this moment of triumph the wise Admiral knows the grave consequences of their actions. Great drama! It's a shame that's all it is....drama. Admiral Y never said it, except on a Hollywood sound stage.

Those are just a few misquotes, but there are many, many more. For instance, my cousin claims that Admiral Farragutt's victory at Mobile Bay was really due to a mis-heard command. His research shows that Farragutt made odd culinary decision the night before the battle that would come back to haunt him. So, when Farragutt was lashed to the rigging amid the thunder of cannon fire he called out to his helmsman:

"Damn those Tostitos, I need the head!"


I'm really, really sorry about that one. If you have a great misquote to share, leave a comment!